Lloyd Irving (twin_swords) wrote in 7dorksandacrazy,
Lloyd Irving
twin_swords
7dorksandacrazy

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[Log; Lloyd + Dunamis]

Ahh, milk, the nectar of kings. At least, that was what it felt like to Lloyd, who had been having a hankering for a cold glass of milk for a long time. So he sat, enjoying his milk, a glass in one hand and a carton in the other. After chugging down the last of his glass, he wiped off the milk mustache that had formed on his face and poured himself some more.

A lazy day, a comfy chair, and a glass of milk. Yes, this was, indeed, the life.
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"Hey there, Lloyd," Dunamis greeted his friend's son, settling himself on the ground next to Lloyd without so much of an invitation. "You look pretty pleased."
Lloyd jumped as he spoke, splashing a little of his milk on his shirt. He looked at the newcomer and blinked.

"...Dunamis? What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I'm just passing through." He waved a hand, the motion easily conveying how unimportant the circumstances of his visit were. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"
"I guess." He took another drink of his milk, then frowned. "I wonder if this time you'll actually have something helpful to say instead of bugging me all the time."
Completely unoffended, he lifted an eyebrow and grinned. "Well, Lloyd, what do you need help with? Your love life, maybe?"
Lloyd nearly choked on his milk.
His grin widened. "Should I take that as a yes, then?"

Amazing how easy it was to get the kid to blush.
He glared at Dunamis, his face so red that one could probably see steam pouring out of his nostrils.

"Why the hell do you think I need help!? Me and Colette are just fine!"
"Oh, I don't know." This really was too much fun. "I suppose it's the pure vanilla vibes the two of you radiate like a pair of suns. You seem like you could do with a bit of help, that's all."
"Vanilla? What?"
Dunamis shook his head. "You really are a sad case. Let me explain."

He sat up a bit straighter and put on a serious expression. "'Vanilla' means strictly basics." The expression was then ruined as a smirk touched his lips. "In your case, that means penis into vagina, missionary position, thrust a bit, and that's the end."

If he had been closer, it would be now he would have put a friendly arm around Lloyd's shoulders. As it was, he gave the kid a sympathetic look. "There's a whole other world out there, Lloyd, if only someone would show you the way."
By now, Lloyd had become so aggravated and humiliated that he would have thrown his glass at that jerk had he not acquired a semblance of self-control over the past few years. Instead, he chose to yell at him.

"What we do isn't boring!" he said, "For your information, that isn't even all we do! Zelos told me how to do this thing with my mouth and --"

He dropped his glass, spilling its contents all over the floor, and covered his mouth with his hands. Damn his big mouth!

[OOC: Finally, sorry about that, I didn't realize how late I'd gone last night. x_X]
Dunamis' eyebrows were approaching his hairline as he held up his hands.

"Hey now, settle down. I'm sure you two are enjoying yourselves just fine." He got to his feet and moved away from where the milk was flowing in his direction, then sat down again out of its reach. "I'm just saying it could be better. Much, much better.

"By the way," he added, "you might want to clean up after yourself, there, so you don't leave a sticky mess."

It was clear from his tone in the last sentence that Dunamis wasn't just talking about milk.
"I will," he replied sharply. "And what the hell do you mean by 'better'?"
The kid sounded like he was answering a tiresome parent, and wasn't that quite the role for a man not even three years old?

His eyebrows certainly were getting a work-out he mused as he replied, "Better as in more pleasurable, more intense. Greater than previous experiences. I'd hope by now you'd know what the word means, Lloyd. I know you're not the brightest of students, but even you should know that one by now," he added, voice light and without malice.
By now, Lloyd's face had turned so red from anger and embarrassment that it was almost indistinguishable from his shirt. He had liked to think that what he and Colette did intimately was just fine and was good for both of them. Sure, he wasn't the most experienced ever, but he considered himself to be pretty good at what he did. To see that challenged by, of all people, his father's clone was not only invasive, but a blow to his pride as a man.

"Fine then!" he snapped at Dunamis, "How would you help!? What could you possibly teach me about that that's so much better, huh!?"
He was going to have to go a bit more slowly and carefully here. He had to keep in mind that he hadn't been the nicest to Lloyd in the past. Lloyd wasn't going to be particularly forgiving of him, so Dunamis was going to have to be the one with the patience.

"Oh, different positions, sensitive spots, that sort of thing," he said lightly. "I'm sure you and Colette are enjoying what you're doing, but don't you think you should keep challenging yourself?"
Lloyd would have preferred to talk to even Zelos about this sort of thing, honestly. But dammit, this jerk was going to challenge his sexual competence, and he was going to show him...!

"Okay," he said with a frown, crossing his arms and leaning back into the chair, "tell me everything you know, master."
He managed to keep from laughing--that wouldn't have been productive at all--but there was no way to stop that grin.

"Tip number one, then," he informed Lloyd, leaning back against palms planted firmly on the ground. "Don't call me 'master' when we're talking about sex. I don't think either of us want to go there."
"I was being sarcastic!" Either this guy's sarcasm meter was way off, or there was something else that Lloyd didn't get.

He preferred to think it was the former.
"All the same, I'd prefer not to think about you, me, and BDSM, so let's go for a different title. How about 'sir'?" Dunamis suggested.
"How about I just stop calling you anything for now?" Or perhaps jackass would have been more suitable, but if he was going to prove himself, then he couldn't just fly off the handle like that at him. He had to be the better man.
"Works for me," he said agreeably. "Now, let's get down to the basics. What sorts of positions are you using?"
"How the hell should I know!? I mean, I get on top of her, sometimes she gets on top of me - isn't that how it always goes?"
He sighed and shook his head, the disappointed teacher. "And where do you do it?"

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